| Over
the last 23 years, I have read more than 15,000 admissions
essays—many
good, many not so good—but there are a few that I remember
to this day. What made these few memorable? In each instance,
the writers revealed themselves to me in ways that the rest
of the college admissions process does not permit.
I still remember the young woman who wrote that she was
going to become the first woman president of the United States.
I believed her. I also remember the essay written by a student
whose passion was theater. She wrote of her desire to be
Lady Macbeth. Not to play Lady Macbeth, but actually to become
Lady Macbeth. I believed her, too.
In both
of these instances, I do not recall whether or not the
writing itself was remarkable, although I am quite certain
that both grammar and spelling were proficient. I would remember
if they weren’t. What made these essays stand out then
and now was that both writers moved me. When I finished those
essays, I knew far more about these students than I could
ever learn from the data that filled their thick admissions
folders.
The essay
can be an obstacle for applicants. As the competition for
college admissions has increased and as students have
taken the process more seriously, “essay anxiety” has
become common. This is especially unfortunate since the essay
is one portion of the application that students themselves
control completely.
I find that writers who do stumble
often are trying to dazzle us with style rather than concentrating
on substance. The notion that an essay must be intellectually
superior is misguided. Students shouldn’t go to the
thesaurus in search of hundred-dollar words. While we want
proof that students can use the tools of language to express
themselves, we can tell when applicants aren’t comfortable
with the language and tone they have adopted.
Typically colleges offer a number of topics on which students
may write. These topics usually give a focus to the essay
and almost always encourage introspection. Even when an applicant
writes about a current event, the approach should be personal.
Each
year certain topics are common to a large percentage of
the essays. Terrorism, and the aftermath of 9-11 have
been popular topics in the last two years. More recent incidents
such as the war in Iraq or corporate leadership and greed
will certainly be popular topics this year. It’s fine
to choose such a topic so long as the perspective is distinctive.
I don’t care whether the writer thinks Martha Stewart
or Sam Waksal is guilty of insider trading, or whether Sammy
Sosa should be penalized for corking his bat. Instead, I
want to read the why— why the student thinks as he
does, why it matters to her, why I should care about his
opinion.
There
are some other dos and don’ts:
- Don’t
be cynical, trite, pretentious, or maudlin. One essay that
caught my eye was a description of coming
to terms with a disabled sister. Instead of an overly sentimental
treatment, the student told me why this experience had changed
him over the years.
- Do be concise, specific, personal.and honest. I am not interested
in reading what the writer thinks I want to read. I want
to be surprised by a student who is willing to take chances
to go beyond the obvious.
- Don’t repeat what is included in other parts of the
application by making the essay a second résumé.
I want to be taken behind the details that I already know,
like a student who described why membership on the committee
to choose an associate pastor was significant in her growth.
- Do use
wit and imagination, but don’t try to be funny
if that’s not your personality. More than a few essays
have backfired when the writer stretched for humor but what
came out was plain silly.
- Do proofread and then ask someone else to proofread for
you. Although I want substance, I also want to be able to
see a student writing that first paper for the freshman colloquium
and avoiding careless mistakes that will drive faculty crazy.
Most
of all, I want students to consider the essay an opportunity
rather than an ordeal. It is a chance for them to provide
me with a dimension of their personalities that cannot be
elicited from test scores or grade point averages, from teacher
recommendations or lists of activities. I want them to use
this opportunity to its fullest advantage—and make
me remember what they wrote.
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