Tales from the Minor Leagues
by Bill Nichols
Baseball is a funny game... Think of the salaries going to major league players to play a kid's game - You have to laugh. And everyone can recall Carlos Martinez' home run last summer that bounced off Jose Canseco's head and went over the fence for a home run.
Sure, all of this is funny, but genuine baseball humor is truly found in the minor leagues. Fans can see some truly bizarre events, by players, managers and fans alike, in minor league baseball if they come to the ballpark on any given night.
The 1993 Season
Brian Graham, who managed the Canton-Akron Indians the past two summers, recalls some odd and funny things he has seen in the Eastern League.
Graham recalled several humorous tales from the 1993 season. There was a night in Binghamton when relief pitcher Apolinar Garcia picked up from under the tarpaulin what he thought was a cute little black and white cat. He petted it and began playing with it. Suddenly, what he thought was a cat turned out to be a skunk and sprayed the startled pitcher. Garcia didn't know what hit him.
He came into the clubhouse, smelling like skunk... At first, he refused to change his uniform, but the skunk smell that emanated throughout the clubhouse, and the hostile reaction of his teammates, finally convinced him to change. Evidently, they don't have too many skunks in the Dominican Republic.
Graham also recalled the game when third baseman David Bell was ejected before the first pitch. Bell and the umpire had had an argument over balls and strikes the previous night. Evidently, the argument carried over to the next day and Bell and the ump again started having words. Bell lost both confrontations. In his disgust, Bell went to the dugout and proceeded to throw his uniform onto the field, piece by piece, much to the astonishment of the fans who had no idea of what was going on.
In the opening game in 1993, rookie Scott Bartz rubbed down starting pitcher Shawn Bryant's right arm before the game. Bartz was new to the Indians and was not familiar with his pitchers. Bryant is a lefthander. He thought Bartz would rub down his pitching arm, but he didn't. Finally, Bryant told him he was a southpaw. Bryant was the first pitcher in Canton-Akron history to have both arms rubbed down before a start.
"There was another game early in 1993 against the Albany-Colonie Yankees. We had scored seven unearned runs in the game already off of high priced lefthanded pitching prospect Brien Taylor. It was late in the game and there were two outs with the Tribe's second baseman Miguel Flores on second base. The Yankees replaced Taylor with a relief pitcher and then attempted to walk the next batter to set up a force situation."
"The first pitch was right to the catcher. That's when the fun started. The next pitch sailed over the catcher's head and Flores advanced to third. Ball three was wide and the catcher had to dive to stop it. The catcher gave a sign for another pitchout. Ball four again went over the catcher's outstretched arms. Flores trotted home with the Indians' eighth unearned run of the game. We won the game, I think, 8-6," said Graham.
"I heard a good story about Bob Molinaro, who managed at Canton the first year of the franchise in 1989," said Graham. He went out to dispute a call and yelled at the umpire so much that he fell to the ground on his hands and knees and passed out, right in front of a couple thousand fans. He was okay, though."
Tales from the Past
The Indians' first manager in 1989, Bob Molinaro, has some tales of his own about the Indians' first season.
"There was the night five years ago when Indians' pitcher Jeff Shaw was so angry after he walked a batter that he kicked the grass behind the pitcher's mound," recalls Molinaro.
"Unfortunately, he kicked the water sprinkler and it erupted. For nearly 20 minutes the grounds crew, also new to minor league baseball, were trying to figure out how to stop the sudden geyser in the middle of the infield. Shaw was red-faced."
One night, Molinaro was upset over the play of left fielder Troy Nell, now with the Oakland A's. "You are a horse---- outfielder, Neel," Molinaro yelled from the dugout. Nell yelled back, "You are a horse---- manager Molinaro." There was a very small crowd that night and the accoustics were perfect for the fans to hear every word.
Mike Snyder, currently a sportscaster with radio station WWWE (now WTAM) in Cleveland, was the Indians' play-by-play announcer on Canton radio the first two years of the team's existence. He recalled two famous incidents, one humorous and one that was almost considered ugly.
Snyder remembered a game in New Britain on the Fourth of July. "There were about 2,000 fans in the park," said Snyder, "but about 10,000 were waiting outside for the postgame fireworks show to begin." "As luck would have it, a game that was moving along quickly, suddenly slowed to a snail's pace. The fans outside were getting restless and it was getting dark, just right for the fireworks. "Suddenly, the fireworks began while the game was still being played. Players in the field were diving for cover. They thought they were being attacked. Everyone was shocked and the game stopped until the show was over. That was the first game I ever saw that had a fireworks delay. I've heard of rain delays, but never a fireworks delay," said Snyder.
The other time most vivid in Snyder's memory was the "bus trip from hell". "We were playing the last game of a long losing road trip in late July in London, Ontario," Said Snyder. "Everyone wanted to get the game over and get back home to Canton." It wasn't that easy. "We lost a tough afternoon game. We loaded up the bus and headed out, stopping at Wendy's and McDonald's as we left London. We were underway about a half hour when the bus began to overheat. The bus driver said we had to rest and then everything would be okay. When the driver started up again, the air conditioning wouldn't work. The players opened the windows and an escape hatch at the back of the bus. A half hour later, the air conditioning came back on and we closed everything back up. First baseman, Francisco Melendez reached up to close the escape hatch. As he was doing so, the bus hit a bump and Melendez cut his hand on the hatch. Melendez was bleeding and he turned pale. The trainer said he needed stitches. We got to the hospital about 6:30 pm and while Melendez was in the hospital, some players went to a bar and others played cards. Melendez came back about 9:30 all bandaged up." "We started out again. When we reached customs, we got a hard time. Never before had we been stopped by customs, but now we did. Some of the guys, who were really tired by now, gave the customs agent a hard time. That didn't help. Finally, 10:30 pm we got through customs." "We then got on I-75 and were heading toward Ohio when the driver said we blew an air bag. Finally, he told us it was the front suspension. He pulled off the road and called the highway patrol. Eventually, we got a new bus and finally, after pulling out of London around 5:00 pm, arrived in Canton about 5:00 am. We should have been home about 10:30 the previous night. Talk about a bus trip from hell." Ken Bolek, who managed the Canton-Akron Indians in 1990 and 1991, recalls some weird stories from when he was in the Houston Astros organization. "I remember a game when I was with Osceola of the Florida State League," said Bolek, now with the Chicago Cubs organization. "We were leading St. Petersburg 2-1 going into the seventh inning. We had a runner on first with two outs. My hitter hit a ball down the left field line. Their left fielder tried to make a sliding catch, feet first. As he went into his slide the ball caromed off a chain link fence. He slid right under the fence, with both feet getting caught. The ball fell about a foot away from his reach. The harder he reached for the ball the more his feet became stuck in the fence. Meanwhile my runners were circling the bases and we scored two runs." Another strange incident took place when Bolek was coaching at Columbus, GA. of the South Atlantic League. "We're in the fifth inning with a runner on first with two outs," recalled Bolek. "The batter hit a line drive that hit the pitcher on the side of his head and the ball caromed back to the catcher. The catcher threw to first, but threw wild and the ball went down to the right field corner. The first baseman and right fielder went after the ball. The right fielder got it and threw to his second baseman who relayed it home. There was a bang-bang play at the plate, but the umpire didn't give any signal. Finally, he said the catcher caught the ball off the pitcher's head on the fly and the batter was out before the play even began." Another incident Bolek remembers with a grin happened in Ashville, SC. "It had rained all day until about a half hour before we were to get on the bus and go to the ballpark," said Bolek. "We had a team rule that if you missed the bus you were fined." "We had three Latin players who were on the seventh floor of the hotel. Several of their teammates took the elevator down to the lobby and then pushed all the buttons so it would take a long time going back to the seventh floor. We waited a moment for the players, but then decided to go to the park. When we got there, the general manager said the field was too wet and he postponed the game. We immediately returned to the hotel. When we got there, the Latin players were just arriving back in a cab. They were fined and also had to pay cab fare - and we didn't even play the game. I don't remember if I rescinded the fine."
Not just the players... Humorous anecdotes are not only limited to the players and managers at the minor league level. Other individual exploits worth repeating include a skydiver, a women singing the national anthem and a tired PR director. As part of the opening day ceremonies, a skydiver was to deliver the ball for the first pitch of the 1991 season at Munson Stadium. There was a target clearly marked just beyond second base. The skydiver was seen on his way and appeared headed directly toward his destination when he suddenly veered off course and missed the stadium entirely, landing in the parking lot. This was reported in all five papers covering the opener. Suddenly this skydiver became infamous as the man who missed the stadium. One of the neat features of minor league baseball is that fans can get an opportunity to throw out the first pitches and sing the national anthem before games. One rather full-figured women almost ruined that tradition, however, with her startling rendition of the national anthem. She started off great - singing the anthem as millions of others had done before her. Then, when the song is traditionally over and the umpire was about to yell, "Play Ball", she launched into another verse, and then another. The Indians' catcher had the ball and looked at his dugout for instructions. He didn't know what to do. She then did another verse, which prompted a fan to yell, "The game can't start until the fat lady stops."
And finally, probably the funniest event of the 1993 season happened in the press box in the final days of the season. Brent Horvath, the Indians' hard working media director, came up to the press box after pulling tarp, selling concessions and coordinating player visits. He was exhausted and the game had just been rained out. In his weakened state, Horvath bet play-by-play radio announcer Jim Clark $5.00 (Canadian money) he could stick his face in a margarita pie (90 proof) for a minute. He did it and the writers fell down laughing - you had to be there to see it. Baseball in its purest sense is played in the minor leagues. The most genuinely funny things also happen in the minors. It truly is a world unto itself
1994 Canton-Akron Indians
Official Magazine and Yearbook
edited by Vinny Maculaitis and Brent Horvath
reprinted with permission of the author